Ashita
by Thrynn
Summary: Kiddy Grade fanfic on the thoughts of Eclair and Lumiere in the beginning of Episode 16 Look/Back. Short and introspective.


Disclaimer: I don't own Kiddy Grade. As if I could ever even think such a thing with all the protections built into the official site. *grumble*  
  
This story is basically a filler that takes place in the beginning of episode 16 Look/Back. I'm trying to feel out what Lumiere and Eclair might have gone through when Eclair lost her memories. I can't believe it was as simple as 'I want to forget' and then wake up the next morning. Anyways, tell me what you think. And visit my Kiddy Grade site!   
  
Ashita _________  
  
"This pain....I hate it. Why can't I just die?"  
  
A deep emotional wrenching filled Lumiere as she watched and listened to her eternal partner.  
  
"We are not allowed to die." And I must be the strong one now.  
  
"I just wish I could forget all of this." Eclair's mind came to a grinding halt. Slowly, hesitantly, she reached out to ask... Forget? I can....forget? And somewhere, someone with flashing gold eyes answered.  
  
Lowering her eyes, Lumiere fought back tears as she realized the significance of Eclair's statement. The streaks of lightening illuminated her eyes as she sat in her silent vigil. The symbolism was not lost on the young seeming girl. Light and power. She was going to do it again, try to start over. She sighed. The core, the soul if you will, of who Eclair was, always tried to attain that perfect state of innocence and idealism. Unfortunately, that coupled with the power and talent to change led down the same road over and over.  
  
Eclair's mind turned in on itself. She screeched to no one and banged futilely on the unyielding metal door until blood ran. "Let me out! They will die! Why?!"  
  
She reached up to a glowing red star, hand trembling. Reaching...reaching to an unattainable goal.  
  
She gave an order. "Don't die."  
  
The gun was raised. The cry of a child. The scream of anguish. A yell of triumph. One after another, blurring. Too fast! Make it stop!  
  
The violet haired girl was broken out of her destructive thoughts of eternity as the occupant of the unadorned bed twitched and murmured indistinctively. Sighing again, she smoothed her hand over Eclair's forehead. It was always like this. In order to repress, one must relieve. It was almost more painful for Lumiere to image what her auburn haired partner was being forced to see and experience again and again until the rising crescendo of emotions and thoughts shorted themselves out, leaving a blank slate in it's wake. Destruction and rebirth. The rain pounded mercilessly on the windowpane in accompaniment of the thunder. People always took note of the destructive power of lightening and were awed at the intensity of thunder. It was only after that one noticed the broken trees and muddy grounds that the storm left.  
  
Lumiere looked down at Eclair in alarm as she began to toss restlessly, her murmurs taking on a fevered pitch. With an inarticulate wail of terror she began to tear at the bindings covering her eyes. I can't see! Throwing herself against the struggling girl, Lumiere desperately tried to overpower her. The thoughts of both hit a peak.  
  
No! Stop!  
  
Inevitably the slight body of Lumiere was flung violently across the room accompanied by an ominous clap of thunder. Hitting the wall hard and sliding down the wall in a crumpled heap she whimpered. She reached up to feel the slightly raised welt beginning to form on the back of her head, eyes unseeing the action more automatic than anything. It hurt, and it wasn't the impact with the wall that caused the unshed tears in violet eyes to glisten once again. Eclair had worked herself into an emotional frenzy. She was trapped in that place between consciousness and dreaming, her thoughts caught in a self destructive cycle that had formed into an endless personal misery of negative emotions that threatened to overwhelm the sense of self somehow still existing in the battered soul that called itself Eclair. And suddenly, and calm voice slashed through it as if a hot knife had been taken to a spider web. "Yamete!" Stop. Sharp and commanding. And....it did. With a small noise from the back of her throat Eclair collapsed, boneless, onto the mattress, released once more from the hellish void of her mind.  
  
Lumiere sat in the corner she had been sentenced to and tried desperately to calm her rapidly beating heart, pounding in counterpoint to the rain outside. Not quite sure if she had directed her command at the memories trying, in what seemed in all intents and purposes, to kill her partner, or to Elcair herself, she emotionally curled in on herself momentarily. Her calm voice of reason had been a facade. She admitted that to herself. Being at peace and in control of her surroundings was a luxury that she rarely came across anymore. Or maybe it was before that she was ignorant about how powerless one really was. Sometimes....sometimes it was hard to be the strong one. Sometimes she wanted to purge herself, cleanse her soul. Her earlier words echoed. They were not allowed to die. With a small shake of her head that caused her hair to finally give up its battle and fall free, Lumiere rose and gazed over to the bed with loving eyes. Eclair. And suddenly she smiled. But don't you know? Hitori ja nai. I'm not alone.  
  
Heart still heavy but with a wry grin alighting her face Lumiere began to tidy up the room, although she had a feeling that she would only have to clean it up again tomorrow. Tomorrow. Ashita. There is always that.  
  
Owari 


End file.
